-Happy 27th Birthday Grayson!
It's been a year and a half, and it's taken me that long to even be able to write anything about the young man I called my brother. Yesterday, May 19th would have been his 27th birthday and my heart is so heavy that he isn't here. His birthday, aside from Christmas was his favorite holiday, and YES I mean holiday, he loved celebrating the day that he was born. When I tell you that Grayson, LOVED life, he loved life. He lived full and hard, people used to say that he lived a lot of life in such a short time and he truly did. The most tragic thing about death, to me only further solidifies life as the anthesis of death, because what is magical about life, is all of the possibilities that every life has, every day is an opportunity to change something and make that day better than the day before. The thing that hurts so much about death is that it destroys all possibilities. I won't paint any picture of my brother as a saint, when you live, you make good decisions and you make bad decisions, and in life, all decisions have consequences, even the good ones. But what I can tell you about him is that he had a really really good heart, and those whom he loved, he loved hard and steadily. It hurts me so much to know that I'll never get another goofy call from him, being excited about some super outdated news, or those phone calls where it'd been weeks since I heard from him and he just carried on like we'd spoken recently. But the thing that breaks my heart the most, is that Gracie, his daughter, will never get to know her daddy, and that he never really got to know her! My family and I, see more and more of him in Gracie, everyday. He would be so excited to know her at this time in her life, she is so full of personality, and she's learning so much about the world everyday, it's extremely satisfying to watch. She a loving, wanna be independent, charismatic little character, but most of all she is Grayson's daughter.
-Grayson, I just hope you're pleased and proud of the little human she is blossoming into and satisfied with all the love that people give and have for her. Of course, nothing will ever be able to replace you, but we're doing our best to make the blow a little softer, when she's able to fully understand. I promise you, and I have since day that you left this earth, that I will always protect that little girl, and I will always love her with every inch of my heart. I don't believe that you can protect people from the world, but I'm damn sure going to try and protect her from it, because I know you would.